Women suffer during premature ejaculation too

'Women suffer during premature ejaculation too': Psychologist reveals the frustration of the partners of men who are 'too tied up in their own (short-lived) pleasure'

• Premature ejaculation in men can cause psychological stress in women

• 40% of women think ejaculation control is very important for satisfying sex

• Many say men who are worried about lasting long enough are distracted from focusing on their partner's pleasure and enjoyment during sex

• The women's frustrations can lead to relationships to breakdown

Premature ejaculation is well-known to blight the sex lives of millions of men.

But a new survey has confirmed what many women know to be true - it's not only their partners who suffer.

Swiss research found premature ejaculation in men also causes psychological stress in women - and not just because of the duration of intercourse.

Premature ejaculation in men can cause sexual frustration in women, new research shows

Andrea Burri, a clinical psychologist at the University of Zurich, surveyed more than 1,500 women from Mexico, Italy and South Korea.

She discovered that 40 per cent think ejaculation control is very important for satisfactory intercourse.

And many said the short duration of sex with a man with premature ejaculation causes sexual frustration.

However, interestingly, it was more common for the women to say the main cause of frustration was the man’s focus on delaying ejaculation.

They said this meant the men were distracted from the woman’s needs and desires.

For the majority of the women polled, satisfying sex did not only consist of sexual intercourse, but also included kissing, caressing and other forms of sexual stimulation.

Women say men who are worried about ejaculating too early are distracted from focusing on their pleasure

They said that if the man is primarily preoccupied with premature ejaculation and his performance, these needs are ignored. 

Dr Burri explained that if a man suffers from premature ejaculation, sex is increasingly about time rather than pleasure and that this can be frustrating and distressing for a woman.

She said that in the long run, these women may start to avoid sexual contact which can damage the relationship.

And added that many essentially harmonious relationships end in a split because of the woman’s bottled-up frustration.

‘After all, the consequences are often more far-reaching than simple sexual dissatisfaction as, in extreme cases, it poses a threat to the desire to have children if the man already ejaculates prior to actual intercourse.’

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2635188/Women-suffer-premature-ejaculation-Psychologist-reveals-frustration-partners-men-tied-short-lived-pleasure.html

Sex Drive Problems

3 Questions to Ask if You Have Sex Drive Problems in Your Relationship

Take the time to find out: What makes your partner feel sexy?

If a disparity in libidos is causing strife in your relationship, you may need to take a closer look at each partner's role. This process is best done with professional help, preferably through counseling with a certified sex therapist. But there's some work the couple can do first. Joy Davidson, PhD, a New York City–based psychologist who's on the board of directors of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, recommends discussing the following questions.

1. What turns on the partner who has a low libido? 

Are there certain times when this partner is more motivated to be sexual? What's different about those times? Analyze that and try to replicate those conditions.

2. Are you playful? 

"Look at what you're actually doing," Davidson says. "Is your sex life dull and routine? Do you have fantasies that you can share with your partner? Do you read books about sexual alternatives or surf the Web looking at sex toy sites?" A person with a low libido may be uncomfortable with such ideas. "If you freak out at these questions, it is understandable that you seem to have low libido," says Davidson. Perhaps you have been raised to view sex as something dirty or shameful and need to work through those feelings with a professional. "If you have a sex-negative attitude," she says, "your libido will be repressed too." 

3. What's going on outside the bedroom? 

You or your therapist may look at what Michael Krychman, MD, executive director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine in Newport Beach, Calif., calls "environmental sexuality"—basically, what's going on outside the bedroom. For instance, he says, "I've had couples in the same house, texting each other from different rooms," wondering why their sex life has taken a dive.

http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/0,,20188405,00.html

New pill to tackle problem of men falling short in bed

Relationship troubles can often be caused by unhappy sex lives.

 Men whose love lives are falling short can try a new prescription pill to combat the problem.

The first drug made available in the UK for premature ejaculation, called Priligy, can reportedly triple the amount of time a man can last in bed.

It works by altering levels of serotonin in the brain, which should give men more control over ejaculation.

The pill is only available on the internet following a confidential online consultation with a doctor.

Priligy has been available and licensed for use in several European countries in recent months and is now coming to the UK following clinical tests on 6,000 men.

The treatment is sold in packs of three and costs £76 for a pack of three 30mg tablets.

It's designed to be taken between one and three hours before sex.

'Too embarrassed'

Premature ejaculation is thought to be the most common sexual disorder in men, affecting one in three men at some point in their lives.

Research has shown that sufferers avoid relationships and have a lower overall quality of life than men without the problem.

A recent European survey found that British, along with German, men are the most unhappy with their sex lives because of the problem.

Many men are also too embarrassed to discuss it with a loved one or even a doctor.

"By providing consultations online we hope to be able to help as many men as possible," said Nitin Makadia, head of male sexual health at Lloydspharmacy, which is running the service.

"Some men are understandably reluctant to discuss the problem with their GP so we are removing this barrier to treatment."

Doctors who are experts in sexual health assess patients' suitability for treatment through an online consultation. If appropriate, they make Priligy available for the patient to purchase.

The treatment is then sent securely through the post.

Priligy is not currently licensed in the UK, but clinicians can legally prescribe any 'unlicensed' medicine to patients if they consider it to be in the patient's best interest.

All doctors prescribing 'unlicensed' medicines are responsible for the patient's care and the consequences of the treatment.

Peter Baker, head of Men's Health Forum, said drugs should not be the first option for someone suffering from premature ejaculation.

"It's fantastic that this drug now exists and particularly if it gives men the confidence to acknowledge they have a problem. But we can't treat every problem with a drug, and there are a number of techniques men can try which can be effective."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8646075.stm

Premature ejaculation gene found

Men who suffer from premature ejaculation may be able to blame their genes, work suggests.

A study of nearly 200 Dutch men found those who climaxed too soon during intercourse had a version of a gene that controls the hormone serotonin.

Men with this version ejaculated twice as quickly as other men in the study.

Serotonin levels are what control the rapidity of ejaculation, say the Utrecht University researchers told the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Not in the mind

The volunteers in Dr Marcel Waldinger's study were 89 men who had so-called primary premature ejaculation, meaning they had always suffered from it from their first sexual contact onwards.

For a month, their female partners were asked to use a stopwatch at home to measure the time until ejaculation each time they had intercourse.

The results were compared with 92 men with no history of such problems.

In the men with premature ejaculation, serotonin appeared to be less active between the nerves in the section of the brain that controls ejaculation.

Dr Waldinger says this low activity of the hormone means nerve signals do not transfer in the normal way in these men.

"This contradicts the idea, which has been common for years, that the primary form of premature ejaculation is a psychological disorder," he said.

Fast reactors

The findings also mean it might be possible to treat the condition with gene therapy, he said.

Paula Hall, a sexual psychotherapist for Relate, said: "Premature ejaculation is definitely not purely psychological.

"But there can be a psychological element. The acid test is how much control they have on their own. If the problem only occurs with their partner then it is more likely to be psychological."

She said men with primary premature ejaculation tended to be fast reactors generally.

"These men have very quick reflexes. They may be excellent at playing tennis or computer games, for example."

She said there was good evidence that serotonin was linked ejaculation and that researchers were developing drugs for the condition that prolong this hormone's action.

Currently there is no medication for the condition on the market.

Treatments involve counselling and the use of anti-depressants - not for depression but for their unexpected yet wanted side effect of delaying ejaculation.

A third of men are believed to suffer from premature ejaculation.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7657092.stm