Sex Drive Problems

3 Questions to Ask if You Have Sex Drive Problems in Your Relationship

Take the time to find out: What makes your partner feel sexy?

If a disparity in libidos is causing strife in your relationship, you may need to take a closer look at each partner's role. This process is best done with professional help, preferably through counseling with a certified sex therapist. But there's some work the couple can do first. Joy Davidson, PhD, a New York City–based psychologist who's on the board of directors of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, recommends discussing the following questions.

1. What turns on the partner who has a low libido? 

Are there certain times when this partner is more motivated to be sexual? What's different about those times? Analyze that and try to replicate those conditions.

2. Are you playful? 

"Look at what you're actually doing," Davidson says. "Is your sex life dull and routine? Do you have fantasies that you can share with your partner? Do you read books about sexual alternatives or surf the Web looking at sex toy sites?" A person with a low libido may be uncomfortable with such ideas. "If you freak out at these questions, it is understandable that you seem to have low libido," says Davidson. Perhaps you have been raised to view sex as something dirty or shameful and need to work through those feelings with a professional. "If you have a sex-negative attitude," she says, "your libido will be repressed too." 

3. What's going on outside the bedroom? 

You or your therapist may look at what Michael Krychman, MD, executive director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine in Newport Beach, Calif., calls "environmental sexuality"—basically, what's going on outside the bedroom. For instance, he says, "I've had couples in the same house, texting each other from different rooms," wondering why their sex life has taken a dive.

http://www.health.com/health/condition-article/0,,20188405,00.html

New pill to tackle problem of men falling short in bed

Relationship troubles can often be caused by unhappy sex lives.

 Men whose love lives are falling short can try a new prescription pill to combat the problem.

The first drug made available in the UK for premature ejaculation, called Priligy, can reportedly triple the amount of time a man can last in bed.

It works by altering levels of serotonin in the brain, which should give men more control over ejaculation.

The pill is only available on the internet following a confidential online consultation with a doctor.

Priligy has been available and licensed for use in several European countries in recent months and is now coming to the UK following clinical tests on 6,000 men.

The treatment is sold in packs of three and costs £76 for a pack of three 30mg tablets.

It's designed to be taken between one and three hours before sex.

'Too embarrassed'

Premature ejaculation is thought to be the most common sexual disorder in men, affecting one in three men at some point in their lives.

Research has shown that sufferers avoid relationships and have a lower overall quality of life than men without the problem.

A recent European survey found that British, along with German, men are the most unhappy with their sex lives because of the problem.

Many men are also too embarrassed to discuss it with a loved one or even a doctor.

"By providing consultations online we hope to be able to help as many men as possible," said Nitin Makadia, head of male sexual health at Lloydspharmacy, which is running the service.

"Some men are understandably reluctant to discuss the problem with their GP so we are removing this barrier to treatment."

Doctors who are experts in sexual health assess patients' suitability for treatment through an online consultation. If appropriate, they make Priligy available for the patient to purchase.

The treatment is then sent securely through the post.

Priligy is not currently licensed in the UK, but clinicians can legally prescribe any 'unlicensed' medicine to patients if they consider it to be in the patient's best interest.

All doctors prescribing 'unlicensed' medicines are responsible for the patient's care and the consequences of the treatment.

Peter Baker, head of Men's Health Forum, said drugs should not be the first option for someone suffering from premature ejaculation.

"It's fantastic that this drug now exists and particularly if it gives men the confidence to acknowledge they have a problem. But we can't treat every problem with a drug, and there are a number of techniques men can try which can be effective."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8646075.stm

Premature ejaculation: experts arrive at a definition

Premature ejaculation is a distressing condition that men usually suffer in silence

Experts in sexual medicine from around the world have, for the first time, defined lifelong and acquired premature ejaculation, paving the way for clear medical recognition and the development of better treatment.

Acquired premature ejaculation is when men who have had normal sexual function during their lifetime experience sex that lasts less than three minutes, while lifelong premature ejaculation is when sex lasts for a minute or less.

This is the first time the conditions have been given uniform classifications.

The new definition for acquired premature ejaculation specifically refers to intravaginal sex between a man and a woman that results in distress, frustration or avoidance of sexual intimacy.

Patrick Jern, post-doctoral researcher of psychology at Abo Akademi University, said premature ejaculation was a common sexual complaint.

“We don’t have a very good understanding of its causes,” he said.

Dr Jern said current diagnostic criteria for lifelong premature ejaculation were quite stringent, meaning a lot of men experiencing problems with their ejaculatory control did not fulfill them.

Lead author of the new guidelines for the diagnosis and treatment of premature ejaculation, emeritus professor Stanley E. Althof, said previous definitions had been mostly based on expert opinion rather than evidence.

This had, in turn, affected research efforts because in designing their studies, researchers in the field had been using different definitions and groups.

“The experimental group for one author might be the control group for another paper. It all became very confusing,” he said.

Professor Althof said having a conservative, evidenced-based definition would allow recognition of the condition by regulatory agencies and development of new therapies.

“With a conservative-evidenced based definition, regulatory agencies will view premature ejaculation as a genuine condition, rather than a lifestyle disorder,” he said.

Dr Michael Lowy, a sexual health physician specialising in premature ejaculation who wasn’t involved in the recommendations, said the condition was very distressing but men usually suffered in silence.

Treatment guidelines include psychotherapy for men alone as well as couples; behavioural techniques that enable men to build up confidence; and online treatment programs. They also include a number of drugs such as oxytocin, topical anesthetics and a common class of antidepressants known as SSRIs, among others.

Dr Lowy said researchers had a lot of experience treating premature ejaculation with selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRI), which raises serotonin levels and, as a side effect, delays ejaculation.

Due to a lack of research into populations of homosexual and bisexual men, acquired premature ejaculation has not been defined for men who have sex with men.

http://theconversation.com/premature-ejaculation-experts-arrive-at-a-definition-27023

Why Sex Is Good For You

10 Ways More Sex Can Improve Your Health

From burning calories to cancer prevention, the benefits of an active love life go beyond the obvious. Ready to get some?

It probably won't take much convincing to follow this general rule, but you should know it, anyway—the more sex you have, the healthier you'll be. Not only can it help your general mood (thereby reducing stress), but studies show there are tangible ways sex slows down the aging process, fights disease and even heals wounds. Here, a full breakdown of the ways getting it on can save you a trip to the ER.

1. Sex promotes heart health.
A study in the American Journal of Cardiology suggests that men who have sex twice a week have a lower risk of cardiovascular disease (CVD) than men who have less frequent sex. And this was true even after researchers adjusted for erectile dysfunction. Analyzing the health records of 1,165 men who were monitored for 16 years as part of the Massachusetts Male Aging Study, epidemiologists at the New England Research Institutes found that men who had sexual activity once a month or less were at 50 percent greater risk of cardiovascular disease than the men who had sex more than once a week.

"Our research found that a low frequency of sexual activity predicted new cardiovascular events," says Susan Hall, PhD. Hall says a number of possible factors could have contributed to the study's finding: The psychical capacity to have sex might be a marker for overall health, or the physical exercise from sex might directly protect against CVD. Or it might be that men who have regular sex enjoy improved health through stress reduction from a supportive relationship. Whatever the reason, it appears that sex is good for your ticker.

2. Doing it burns calories.
Due to its brevity, having an orgasm fries only two or three calories. But the prelude can burn quite a bit more, depending on your weight and the length and vigor of the lovemaking session. For example, a raucous romp uses about 5 METs (metabolic equivalents), a system for gauging the intensity of physical activity. (Sitting quietly, for comparison, is equal to 1 MET.) So, a 190-pound man would burn 413 calories in an hour of vigorous sexual activity. But since the average lovemaking session is about 20 minutes, you're talking about only around 150 calories. Still, that's more than double the caloric expenditure of sitting alone on the couch.
Try these tips from the Men's Health Big Book of Sex to unleash your power where it matters the most – in bed!

3. Sex is a natural sleeping pill.
As women know all too well, orgasm is a rather effective sleep aid for most men.

4. Sex stifles stress.
Research at the University of the West of Scotland shows that sex, like exercise, releases anxiety, lowers stress hormones, and can help people cope with mental pressure for at least a week. In the study, 46 men and women were put in a stressful situation involving speaking and working math problems in front of a tough audience. Participants were also asked to keep a diary of their sexual activity for two weeks prior to the test. Those who had sex were the least stressed out, and their blood pressures returned to normal faster after the public speaking test. "People who had penile-vaginal intercourse did twice as well as people who only masturbated or had no sex at all," says psychologist and lead researcher Stuart Brody.

5. A roll in the hay keeps the doctor away.
People who have sex once or twice weekly have stronger immune systems than people who have sex less than once a week, according to a study at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania by psychologists Carl J. Charnetski, PhD, and Francis X. Brennan Jr., PhD. In their book, Feeling Good is Good for You: How Pleasure Can Boost Your Immune System and Lengthen Your Life, they describe their study in which they took saliva samples from 111 college students and asked them about their frequency of sex over the course of a month. Analysis showed that the saliva of the students who had sex once or twice a week had 30 percent more of the antigen immunoglobulin A (IgA) than the saliva of students who had sex less often. "IgA is the body's first line of defense against colds and flu," says Charnetski. Other studies show that happy relationships are good for health. In one experiment reported in the New England Journal of Medicine, University of Pittsburgh scientists shot live cold viruses up the noses of volunteers. Those who reported having strong ties with lovers, friends, and family were the least likely to catch a cold.

6. Good love is better than a bandage.
Researchers at Ohio State University Medical Center inflicted minor blister wounds on the arms of 45 married couples during 24-hour visits on two different occasions. On the first visit, the couples were prompted to engage in a positive, supportive discussion. Two months later they returned and new wounds were administered, the couples were prompted to argue. Results showed that wounds healed nearly two times faster after the positive interaction.

7. More sex may turn back the clock.
Can having sex keep wrinkles away? British neuropsychologist David Weeks, MD, of Royal Edinburgh Hospital believes so. In a 10-year-long study, he interviewed 3,500 adults in England and the United States, and found that people who reported having sex four times a week looked about 10 years younger than they actually were. Pleasure derived from having loving sex releases hormones, including human growth hormone, that are crucial in preserving youth, he says.

8. Frequent orgasms may protect against cancer.
Several studies have suggested that frequent ejaculation over many years may decrease risk of prostate cancer. In one US study, 29,000 men, ages 46 to 81, were asked their history of sexual intercourse and masturbation between the ages of 20 and 49. Researchers at the National Cancer Institute analyzed the data and determined that the group of men who reported 21 orgasms per month was much less likely to have prostate cancer than men who averaged seven or fewer ejaculations per month. The researchers speculated that several protective factors may contribute: ejaculation may clear the prostate of carcinogenic secretions and the stress-reduction benefit from orgasm may limit potential harmful substances that could trigger cancer.

9. Love longer, live longer.
An Irish study published in the British Medical Journal in 1997 tracked the mortality of 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade and concluded that sexual activity may have a protective effect on health. By comparing men according to age and health, researchers found that men who had the highest frequency of orgasms had a death rate 50-percent lower than men who did not ejaculate frequently.

10. Men who have more sex are—surprise—happier!
An Australian survey of 5,000 people showed that married men are 135 percent more likely to report happiness than single men, while only 52 percent of married women are happier than unmarried women. Could it have something to do with the fact that sex is easier for cohabiting couples? According to a national sex survey conducted by the University of Chicago, sexual activity is 25 percent to 300 percent greater for married couples compared to non-married people, depending on age.

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-md/sex-health-benefits